I stepped into sexual addiction for a short time in my early forties.It helped me remember the sexual abuse inflicted on me when I was eleven.
The whole thing started early one morning about 10 years ago when I was starting along this path of finding happiness which became finding ME.
There I was lying on the bathroom floor wailing, as you do, and screaming to God / Universe / Whoever the hell was in charge to help me.
You see I was drowning…in debt, in fear and in loneliness and I had hit bottom (not for the first or the last time).
I was asking for help…to find me and my place in this World so I would not feel so beat down and alone.
Prayers are always answered, and not usually in the way you want them.
In this case and in the place I was in that day I would have liked to wake up the next morning to find money in my bank account, courage to keep going and someone to share my life with but no…that would have been too easy and I would not have become who I am through that experience.
Instead what happened opened me up to so much more.
Things I had hidden and ignored needed to be seen and dealt with and from where I now stand I see the perfection of it all.
Things you don’t know about me #27I am a recovered sex addict.
For about four years I did stupid and often dangerous things in order to experience the high of sexual gratification, trying to fill a hole I knew was there but did not know when it was created.
Things you don’t know about me #28I was sexually abused as a young girl.
Toward the end of the period of time of my sex addiction I remembered how the emptiness inside me was created.
To keep it really brief – I was eleven, we lived in PNG, we had a house-boy who cleaned for us. It was a one time thing – he put his hands where his hands and fingers did not belong.
Over time, life went on and I forgot all about it…mostly. When I did see glimpses of that memory I quickly squashed them and got on with it.
My sex addiction days forced me to remember.
Then, in the days after remembering I transmuted those memories and healed the hurt using processes that have since morphed into the Rapid + Radical Change program.
I don’t identify with the label sex addict anymore or that of sexually abused.
As you heal your original wound and release all manifestations of it to be seen and turned to light, old labels no longer hold you back.
What labels do you hold onto? If you are ready to heal and let them go share them in the comments below(make sure you untick the ‘share on facebook’ link if you want to keep your comment private.