Are you letting your fears diss you?[diss] slang term for disrespect.
[disrespect] Name calling. Putting someone down. Trying to make someone else feel bad or sad or low. Disrespectful.
So you’re walking along, whistling away when suddenly you come to a dead cold stop. You feel that familiar creep of fear and you hear it’s voice ‘you can’t do this, who do you think you are, you’ve never achieved anything in this life so what makes you think that this time will be any different’ and on and on it goes until you turn on your heel and march back to where you started with your tail between your legs and another dream dissolving in the wake you leave behind.
The disrespect you are willing to accept from your fears is in direction proportion to the dis-respect you are willing to show yourself.
I know I’m being a little harsh here but it’s time you heard the truth.
Every single time you accept dis-respect from your fears you are dis-respecting yourself.
Dis-respect to self, accumulated over time with every win that fear has, causes dis-connection to your Soul.
You can turn this around, however. No matter how ingrained your behaviours are, there are steps you can take to ditch the diss and connect with the Soul aspect of yourself.
There is a way to demand respect from your FEARS and here’s how
1. Ask yourself if the words from fear are true. Those words that had you turning on your heel and running back to your comfort zone are most probably not true at all and if you have a look at each of them you will be able to see that. It’s not true that you have never achieved anything in this life, it’s highly unlikely that you have even gotten to a point where you are sitting reading these words unless you have achieved a great number of things. For example: you learned how to walk, you figured out how to tie your laces, you must have achieved a level of reading ability. Dr Wayne Dyer has an amazing quote that I love around just this subject. He says..
- You were a winner from the moment you were born.
There were several hundred billion sperm in one glob chasing this one egg.
They were all in a race. The prize was this egg, and they were all swimming as fast as they could.
There were billions of them, and you won.
You won the first race you were ever in.
Dr Wayne Dyer – Staying on the Path
So, here’s the thing about your fears…they are kryptonite, so to speak. Your fears are simply keeping you safe!
Remember when you were little, you’d spent the whole day in school learning how to read and write (more evidence that you are capable of achieving) and the bell rang out signifying an end to the day. Yay, it was time to play, and so you rushed off out of the school yard and straight into the street in front of the moving traffic….screeeech!
You never did it again did you…not only because of the many screaming voices telling you that you don’t run out into the road but also the tears that you saw in your mums eyes when she held you close and ran her hands over your body to make sure you were in one piece.
You developed a fear then, didn’t you and that fear has been your friend on and off for many years. Your fear has kept you safe in times of trouble and you have to respect it for that BUT that doesn’t mean that you can’t create boundaries around when your fear can keep you safe and when it has to take a back seat. Show some respect to your fear by saying thank you for keeping me safe and then let it know that you will be deciding in future when fear needs to be present and when it does not.
3. Be prepared. It helps to have a routine that you can automagically jump into when your fears are starting to diss you again. The simplest one I know is a 3 step process gifted to me that I call ABC Brain re-train. It goes something like this:
AWARE – become aware that you are about to play out your old reactive, habitual behaviour. Often you can feel it coming, butterflies in the tummy and things like that.
BREATH – breath in to the count of 4, breath out like you are blowing out a candle to the count of 8 – repeat twice more (3 times in total)
CHANT - chant or say or sing your personal mantra or affirmation to help you get your brave on. A great all-rounder is ‘I can do this’. Just keep it simple and easy so you can start chanting it without too much thought and before your habitual fearful thought pattern can get a hold of you.
So there you have it…how to stop your fears from dissing you and start respecting yourself.
COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR BIGGEST FEAR AND I’LL INTUIT A SHORT MANTRA FOR YOU TO USE FOR THE C OF YOUR ABC BRAIN RE-TRAIN PROCESS.PS: If you would like a copy of the wallet sized ABC brain re-train card (with a space to write your mantra) contact me and I’ll shoot you a copy.