What I mean by thinker is that I am hyper aware of all that I do, all the ways that I behave and act and react and respond to all sorts of situations in life and as I notice or become aware of a way that I am acting or reacting or responding to any and all situations I start thinking about why I am acting, reacting or responding in that way.
Sometimes the answer comes quick and I recognise my behaviour as a habit of reacting that I have done all my life and other times I am a little slow to pick up that it is because deep down the thing I am reacting to has trigged a need within me that I have not allowed out into the sunshiny World yet.
Have I always been a thinker. I think I have but I also see that the quality of my thinking has changed dramatically.
Growing up I was shy and introverted so yes, I did a lot of thinking but it was more the kind of thinking that was focussed outward.
I would think about whether someone liked me or whether I looked nice in what I was wearing or if my hair was nice or I would think about who I liked and didn’t like (as in boys don’t you know). Surface level thinking about what I would be doing later on or whether what I was doing now was a good or right thing to do.
The quality of my thinking has changed dramatically and yet stayed so much the same since embarking on what I like to call my quest for the ‘something more’ I knew was out there somewhere. My quest lead me into the Worlds of ‘finding happiness’, the ‘create your reality’ world of law of attraction and most recently through the ‘I see all’ world of traditional, learned spirituality.
In all my wandering I have come across some of what I like to call the UNHELPFUL QUESTIONS.
Years ago, not long after The Secret Movie came out there was a huge backlash against all teachings and teachers of the law of attraction. When I say a huge backlash I mean within those communities, if you were not even aware of the subject matter then you would have also been completely unaware of the backlash.
Here’s why. Many a well meaning friend, coming across another friend or indeed any stranger they came across, and hearing said friend or stranger lament the fact that they were sick or poor or homeless or simply unable to create a better life for themselves would offer up that ever-so-unhelpful question…well how did you attract that.
So, ok don’t get me wrong here. I have been guilty of uttering those words as well.
Moving into today and the reason I’m writing this post. Yesterday I had an experience that created a reaction, response and behaviour in me that caused me to dive into the deep blue oceans of my thinking mechanism yet again.
I posted about the experience and my response to it on Facebook, click here to read it if you didn’t already
As is my usual way of being I pondered and thought long and hard about the situation, my response to it, the actions I took and why long before I shared it with anyone.
The reason I shared it was to simply show my reluctance to play a part in this kind of situation any longer and to stand up for what I believe in – the fair and compassionate treatment of all human beings and the need to stand up and speak when necessary as well as the need for us all to support (and pay for services) given to us by those who know how to treat their staff and the World as a whole…
…those entrepreneurs and small businesses who come from a conscious mindset.
Of course, the latest un-helpful question came up in response to my post.
Where is this a mirror for you in your life?
Look, don’t get me wrong this is a wonderful question used in a coaching setting or during a spiritual healing with a client or customer.
I just don’t get why conscious and aware people, who are gathered together in like-mindedness ie. if I am in your awareness and you are in mine as friends and not in a coaching or healing relationship, I don’t get why you would imagine that I have not already done the deep journey within to examine this, if I had not I would not have made the decision to post about it explaining my actions and why I took them.
In my opinion, and we all know what opinions are like don’t we (if you don’t know..opinions are like assholes, everyone has one). In my opinion these kinds of unhelpful questions do not contribute to the conversation in any way.
What contributes to the conversation is words of encouragement, your opinions about unconscious old World behaviours, how you have handled something similar or even how you believe something similar or even something completely different.
When you ask me or anyone else how this was a mirror for my life you simply show me that you don’t know me and you assume the role of coach, healer, teacher.
Yes, ask this question in the coaching environment and with your clients who are seeking to find themselves but please stop bringing it into every single conversation.
The World is Awakening. You are Awakening. Do not assume that no-one is doing the same.
Even those who are living in the old ways of being are awakening and opening their eyes and most importantly, asking themselves that question…
…Why am I behaving this way?
Hey, what other un-helpful when used out of the coach:client context questions, do you know, share it with all of us in the comments below.